Cautious Dating: Discovering The Woman Of Your Dreams In Today’s Modern World

To celebrate the initial printing of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World, I’ll ask your indulgence when I share some of the journey that has brought this book from concept to reality 8 years later. In 1997, I was a Marriage and Family Therapist handling couples on the verge of divorce.

I discovered the emerging field of personal/life coaching and then became excited about applying coaching to romantic relationships. In attempting to figure out which way to do this I had an epiphany. SINGLES Turn out to be COUPLES! In my twenty years as a therapist on a mission to minimize the divorce rate, it had never occurred to me to work with singles.

I knew really little about how singles could successfully find their life partner, so I started reading all of the self-help books I possibly could find on the subject. I was appalled at how much bad and misguided information for singles that I found.

It seemed that most books for singles had been written by lay people (non-relationship professionals) that narrowly centered on “hooking up” (how to flirt, how to “get” a woman, etc.) and had little to offer about how singles could locate and have a successful, sustainable, and fulfilling relationship.

And so, I scratched my head, sat down with a legal pad, and asked myself “What do singles need to know and do to discover their life partner?” Starting literally from a blank slate, is started drawing upon my own life, my education as a therapist and coach, and my years of expertise specializing in relationships.

I began mapping out some disconnected thoughts and ideas like:

– Need to begin with a vision.

– Need to be clear about life purpose.

– Make relationship choices aligned with requirements, needs, along with wants.

– Dating Traps – the many ways that singles set themselves up for failure.

– Attraction Venues – the individuals you meet depends upon where you meet them.

– Need to have a Relationship Plan – “when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

– Need to be self-aware, conscious, and informed about relationships.

– 4 steps to finding your life partner – searching, sorting, screening, and even testing.

– More than one type of dating relationship – recreational, fully committed, “mini-marriage.”

Whew! My creative juices were flowing, and before I knew it I had written a transcript and went to a recording studio to generate a cassette tape to promote my relationship coaching – Locating the Love of Your Life along with the Life That You Love. I gave this tape to everyone that came to my once a week singles events and was stunned at their feedback. They loved it! I heard comments such as “This tape saved my life!”

Wow… I realized I was on to something. Many of the concepts and ideas resonated powerfully with singles, like dating traps, requirements, and such. The one that seemed get the most response was “Be The Chooser.” Right then, I knew I had to turn this into a book.

Fast forward to today, you can find now many helpful dating advice resources available. One useful source is the internet. You can find several fantastic internet dating advice websites popping up more and more. One in particular had info on women to pick up, where to meet women, and even reading women body language. There is information on almost any dating question you might have.